xx the irreplacable love we made.

random-ness.

2005-01-29T18:37:00.000+08:00

provided by VideoCodes4U.com

Muse - Time Is Running Out

we wish you a happy new year

2005-01-02T11:36:00.000+08:00

first of all,
happy 2005 to all bloggers.

ok next.

i haven't been updating this blog of ours out of pure laziness.
heh heh.
all my energy's drained from work.
talking about work, i hate my job.
i'm an underpaid and unmotivated employee.
fuck gmp recruitment agency.

moving on.

life's been shit during 2004.
so i hope 2005 will be even more better a year.
hopefully i'll get to see more greens in my pockets.
heh.

next up.

i miss my sugar-coated buncit baby.
he's still sleeping.
poor baby just got back from work this morning.
he deserves smooches and huggies.
mwah mwah mwah!!

speaking of work, i'm working later at 2.
but i've dressed up early thinking bee's gonna send to work.
since he's still happily sleeping, i think i'll go to work alone.
how miserable.
and in the rain somemore.

i'm bored.
i'm listless.
you name it.

oh well till whatever whenver wherever.

us

2004-12-28T20:52:00.000+08:00

dah nak masuk 9 months dah..
lots of things hapen..
lots of ups and downs..
in this path we lose alot..
in the other hand we gain lots of experiences..
experiences tat makes this relationship of ours stronger..
lots of tears being shed..
lots of eyes opened..
i now realise tat trust, comittment and lots of other stuffs
even giving in plays a big part in a working out in a relationship..
lisa,
degil nak mampos, egoistic and many more..
but shes lovely in her own way, sweet, affectionate
haiz her smile,her gleaming eyes makes me melt...
my nalisa, my lovely dearie, my bebeh, my baby, my kesayangan, my life partner, my simple lisa.

[ari]

we worry too much.

2004-11-29T22:42:00.000+08:00

work sucks.
you suck.
everything sucks.

fuck you suckies!!!

i was bored.
ok bye.

lets erase the past

2004-11-19T00:26:00.000+08:00

at last.
i finally got round to redoing the blog template.
haven't been blogging for quite a while.
i guess i'm much more comfortable with livejournal.
nevertheless, i'll try to update this blog when i can.

well, life's been kinda sucky this days.
ah it has always been this way since like forever.
both of us will be busy with work.
him working at bras basah and me at changi airport.
sigh.

do tag alrights?

xx fucking entry!

2004-11-05T01:15:00.000+08:00

FUCK YOU _____!
YES FUCK YOU!
FUCK YOU AND YOUR FUCKING PUKIMAK FACE!
FUCK YOU AND YOUR FUCKING SMELLY PITS!
GO FUCK IN HELL YOU MUTHAFUCKER!!
FUCKING BUSYBODY!
YOU DO NOT FUCKING HAVE THE RIGHT TO SAY WHAT YOU'VE SAID TO ME, YOU FUCKING BASTARD!
FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU, YOU BLOODY FOOL!!
STUPID ARSEHOLE!
THINK YOU'RE THAT FUCKING HANDSOME?!
NO YOU'RE FUCKING NOT, YOU FUCKING DUMBASS!!
YOU THINK YOU'RE SOME KIND FUCKING PLAYBOY EYY?
BAH!
THOSE GRRLS WERE FUCKING BLIND TO HAVE NOT REALISED WHO AND WHAT YOU REALLY ARE!
YOU FUCKING SCUM OF THE EARTH.
YOU'RE THAT GOOD EYY?
KISS MY BLARDY ASS, YOU JERK!
WAIT, YOU DON'T EVEN FUCKING DESERVE TO KISS MY RESPECTED ASS!!
GO KISS A BLARDY DONKEY FOR ALL I CARE!!!!!
NEXT TIME GO FUCKING MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS OK?
YES, YOU GOT ME AT THE WRONG TIME.
TOO BAD YOU WERE TOO STUPID TO EVEN NOTICE THAT I DOWANA FUCKING CHAT WITH YOU!!
I CAN'T BELIEVE _____'S GOT A CRAZY THING GOING ON FOR YOU.
MAN, YOU BARKED UP THE WRONG TREE!
I HATE YOU TO THE CORE, DUNCHA KNOW THAT??!!
IT MAY BE A SMALL MATTER BUT HEY YOU FUCKING HAD TO BE SARCASTIC AT ME!
I'M NOT LIKE THE OTHERS WHO CAN TAKE IT LIGHTLY!
I JUST CAN'T CAUSE I FUCKING BELIEVE IN STANDING UP FOR MYSELF!!
I FUCKING DON'T LIKE PEOPLE WHO LOOK DOWN ON ME!!
WHAT??? YOU THINK YOU KNOW ME THAT WELL!?
HEY DON'T EVEN BET YOUR LIFE THAT YOU KNOW ME HALF AS WELL AS MY BF DOES!!!
YOU KNOW WHAT, THE NEXT TIME I SEE YOU, I'M GONNA PRESENT YOU WITH A BLARDY DEODRANT FOR YOUR SMELLY PITS!!!
THANK YOU SHIKIN FOR THE SUPERB IDEA!
OHH YOU BETTER WATCH OUT, YOU FRIGGING DODO HEAD!!!
I'LL GIVE YOU A TASTE OF YOUR OWN SHITTY MEDICINE!!!
TWO CAN FUCKING PLAY THIS GAME!!

do not jump to conclusion on who this entry is for. don't even guess because all of your guesses are wrong. i'll be the only one who knows. so don’t waste your frigging time on guessing and jumping to conclusions.

xx untitled.

2004-10-29T14:52:00.000+08:00

shucks.

money's a major issue right now for us.

bills bills bills~

on a temporary hiatus.
till then.
[her]

xxthink hairil think

2004-10-28T02:41:00.000+08:00

think hairil think

tats wat i love to do...
aniwhere, anitime...

thinking bout her..
bout ma family
bout ma sins..
bout maney..
bout school..
bout friends
bout ma foes..
bout ma long lost fren.. sayyid..

seriously frm a it seems gayish... but i miss da ol' times..

i confess to her bout everiting...
ma fears..
ma feeling..
wat i did..
and im sorie..

im a critical thinker..
not many people think the way i think..
im not being proud..
but thers alot of negative points rather then positive ones..
paranoia getting over me..
im unreasonable..
i throw tantrums..

wat the hell am i thinking then..
everiting is wrong..

sorie.
tats simply juz a word..
wat if we break up.. will sorie bring us back together..
haiz... ma head turning..
im breaking down..

but i guess this love of ours.[lisa and hairil]
will remain..
till the end..
insyallah..
amin...

[him]

xx sek ar sek!

2004-10-27T15:50:00.000+08:00

my CA called me in the afternoon.
bleargh.
kaypoh ah dekni~

ok today i'll be breaking fast at his house.
he'll be cooking i think.
looking forward to it so much.
can't wait to criticise his cooking yet again.
keh keh.

long time never go his house ah.
i miss his mummy, i miss his sisters.
oh no, i'm turning lesbian. heh.
padahal tuhari baru dtg~

anyways, sorry if i have not updated this blog regularly.
i'm getting too used to my LJ.
oh well, at least there ain't any kaypoh bastards to irritate me there.
keh keh.

ok mom's nagging.
bye.
[her]

xx you bloody piece of shitty shit!

2004-10-24T23:25:00.000+08:00

stupid bloody imposter.
using kin's nick to tag.
fuck off aye?

anyways i'm coping well without my hp.
for those who don't know, my hp's spoilt.
so i'm hp-less till next week.
urgh.

so that's all.
heh.

urmm.
so goodbye.
[her]

xx don't say a word cause i'll never forgive you.

2004-10-23T01:35:00.000+08:00

you will pay for your actions.
apologizing won't undo the things that you did.

once again, you will regret.
big time.

[her]

xx i need a boobie job.

2004-10-22T17:12:00.000+08:00

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heh.
[her]

xx random.

2004-10-21T15:20:00.000+08:00

us at esplanade on 16102004.

[her]

xx lala~

2004-10-21T01:22:00.000+08:00

the only reason i'm updating this piece of shit is because the boy asked me to.
so being the loyal grrlfriend i am, i am doing what he asked to do.

ok he had his stitches removed.
bleargh.
an eerie sight.
wanted to puke.
but couldn't.
heh.

i'm not fasting.
grrls, you should know why.
like DUH, right?
keh keh.

haven't been to school for the past few days.
too lazy.
wanna quit school.
don't ask me why.

umm.
and i'm bloody bored.

so goodbye.

oh yah.
i love you, mr mohd hairil bin mahat.

love,
nurul nalisa bte musbah

so goodbye again.
[her]

XXbefore US.. i make u love me???

2004-10-15T20:17:00.000+08:00

words from lisa..
on march 30
frm her previous blog..

Tuesday, March 30

i truly loved you. it was no infatuation.
i said that to make myself forget about you.
time and again i surrounded myself with made up lies. sigh.
i still miss you after all this time. you really left a deep impact in my life.
my heart cries out for you. i wanted you and i still do. please believe me.
i never meant to hurt you. but now.. sigh. what's done cannot be undone.
i struggle everyday trying to accept the fact that you're gone. gone from my life.
i wanna cry. i wanna let out what's been bottled inside my heart but i just can't seem to do it.
i'm waiting for something or that someone to trigger my tears.
it hurts keeping all this to myself. deceiving myself. denying my true feelings.
how it hurts. i wish i could just forget about you with a snap of my fingers.
*snaps her fingers* and whoosh! you're non-existence in my life.
i know nobody will understand what i'm talking about and how i really feel inside.
sometimes i wonder what's wrong with me. am i normal to be feeling this way? am i?

you asked me whether i wanted to clarify things but i answered no.
you asked me whether i really loved you or was it just an infatuation but i didn't answer.
i've tried so hard to convince myself that it was just a infatuation and not love.
but deep down inside i knew i loved you then. and i still do now. please.
lets not pursue this matter any further. i wanna bury the past and start a new life.
without you. i've come to realise that there will never be an US. not in a lifetime.
whatever it is, we have to accept that fact. i know you have somehow.

i wish you all the best in your current relationship. insyallah akan berpanjangan.
*faint smile* as for me, i'll try to work out things wit ayul. i just hope it goes well.
one more thing. you say it hurts to see me with him.
have you ever thought about how i feel when i look at you? the look in your eyes.
the look of your face. it hurts so much knowing that you're so near yet so far away from me.

lets get over each other ok? it's for the best.

this situation isn't getting any better.
i see the look in your eyes.
you want to see a pretty face? there isn't anything wrong with giving up and for what it's worth,
i still hate you.

emotions running high at 6:25 PM

xx slit paper wrists.

2004-10-15T14:51:00.000+08:00

a pen knife.
anger.
sadness.
pain.
anguish.
recklessness.
hysterics.
slit.
arm.
bloody.
panic.

a pool of blood.

deep cuts on his left arm.

my sweater as a replacement for bandage.

final product after hospital visit.

[her]

xx here goes.

2004-10-10T13:37:00.001+08:00

for his sake, i'll do this bloody entry all over again.

a day well spent yesterday.
too lazy to go into details.
next time maybe.
some pictures for your viewing pleasure.

pole-dancing.

i've got an obsession with mermaids.

the brady bunch. bwaha.

the grrls at ulan's pit.

soon to be bride and groom, kak fidah and abg hanip, the driver.

OCH's wards building.

OCH 2. smoke's from the boy's ciggie.

OCH 3.

OCH 4. nervous smiles from me and kak yana. was facing the building.

OCH 5. the boy's hugging something.

OCH 6.

OCH 7.

OCH 8. orbs can be spotted if you observe the pictures carefully.

the boy and me at punggol beach. bleargh, i look fat.

patrick star. heh. the end.

[her]

xx grr.

2004-10-10T13:12:00.000+08:00

fucking blogger erased my latest entry.
fuck.
i hate bloody blogger.
[her]

sibling day out!!

2004-10-10T11:12:00.000+08:00

wat a great dae!!!
i start da dae by goin to tuition in tamp..
at 2. ended at 4
then i met my darling lisa..
kiter actually nak gie gig kat yishun and
then go down to esplanade to see bushman perform..
then decided to go to tamp sunplaza instead but theres hip hop shit goin on ther'
abih bnyk mat mats..
pat saner ah yng kakak aku msg..
dier ajak gie ULAN nyer pit..
met ma sis at 8.40 in bedok interchange..
abng Hanip drive kereta... kak Pid and kak yana..
including me and lisa... reached da pit at 9++
and stay till 11++
the fun lum end lagik tau..
guess its juz getting started
we went down to ol changi hospital..
take lots of pictures.. and it appears tat
most of da picture in changi have orbits.. like circles wif lighted ring arnd it..
i will upload da pics into ma pc..
i went up da hill wif abng hanip to recce' the place before goin up wif ma sis and lisa..
then we take some pictures...up ther..
kerana kak pid takut nyer pasal kiter tak masuk dalam sngt..
lepas tu kiter gie makan kat shalihin.. ate 1/4 plate of nasi goreng seafood
minum tea katai...
kat saner wen browse da pic again and realise the orb..
then kiter decided to rantau pasir ris plak..
arnd 11.30 kiter beredar dari shalihin..
and trun sungai api-api..
took some pictures...
but nothing seems to appear..
but something bout the place tat creeps da hell out of me..
lepas tu kiter gie changi alik... gie this dead end.. tapi takder peper...
last skali we went down to punggol point eh.. tak tau plak namer tmpt dier..
but da permandangan punyer lah cantik...
we stay at da jetty till kul 4am..
untuk sesaper yng ader kenderaan sila singgah yer...
btw thers a police barricade but its not a matter thyre juz ther to
keep a look out at the sea..
after tat kiter antar lisa balik...
then gie simpang bedok...haf a drink...
me, ma sisters and abng Hanip
btw... abng hanip is kak fidah goin-to-be hubby.. insya-allah
in 1 year time..
hmm.. thers some thing bout him tat makes us feel like family..
im so happie for ma sisters..
then we end da venture... at 6..
haiz..

life so wonderful wen u have ure family by ure side..
orng melayu kater 'air dicincang tak akan putus'..

thankz alot ma sisters and ma brother for tat wonderful time...
thankz alot ma dear nalisa... for being ther for me all da time..
in time of happiness and sadness..
may we last till da end.. insya-allah

xx penny for my thoughts.

2004-10-09T16:00:00.000+08:00

sometimes i think the bond between me and the boy's too close.
too close for comfort.
we know each other too well.
is that a good thing?

it never fails to make me wonder.
we are so different yet so alike.
it's true our personalities clash at one time or another.
the way we perceive certain issues/situations also differs.
but there are instances where we do think similiarly.
which comes rarely.
there goes a saying, great minds think alike.
heh. dunno how much of that is true.

the boy and i can spend endless hours debating over some trival and sometimes, major topics.
we always have something to say against each other.
he's the mature, critical thinker.
for me?
hah. best not touch on that.
let the boy judge that.

i wonder.
how can two very different but higly-opinionated persons click so well?
in fact, how do we manage to last this long?
is it because the both of us have high tolerance levels?
why do people say opposites attract?
is there anything concrete in that saying?
sigh.

i wonder how.
i wonder why.
[her]

xx headlines.

2004-10-05T11:35:00.000+08:00

hah. the people i hang out with in school are yet in another conflict.
bwahaha.
tak habes habes siak!
i smell hypocrisy.
i smell talking behind backs.
the culprit was, as expected, the-grrl-who-can't-keep-her-mouth-shut.
who happens to be his ex-girlfriend.
bluek.
you have a pretty face.
you have a body that all guys want.
why the need to create trouble?

i just don'tunderstand why you would wanna publicise all your problems to everybody.
are you like trying to seek sympathy from other people?
you think by doing all this, people will favour you more?
and please, don't make false accusations or any assumptions in fact.
sheesh!
get a life, grrl.
[her]

xx just me and you.

2004-10-05T09:17:00.000+08:00

summary of my days.
ok here goes.

sunday
mega perdana
kelana purba topped the whole competition.
followed by andika and then durba 2.
i must say i was kinda impressed by andika's creative performance.
i had a good time with his mom, helping with the food and all.
was wearing a bloody kebaya. urgh.
but i looked exceptionally gorgeous. heh
unexpected people turned up.
posing kereta kape~ sheesh.
and yeah, i ate alot that day.
alot, i tell you.

monday
shopping spree & esplanading
woke up late and so ended up not going to school.
took MC at the polyclinic.
chilled with him for a couple of hours.
took stupid pictures with the digicam.
then, decided to go esplanade.
before that, we went to city link and marina square.
bought him khaki pants and got myself a skirt due to his demands.
heh.
had my eye on a certain pair of adidas pumps.
nice~
managed to buy some accessories too.
wanted so much to buy a roxy tote bag.
but went against the idea cause the bag's common already.
anyways the bag looked minah-ish but NICE. heh.
acted like a kiddy couple at esplanade.
was irritating the hell outta each other.
took somemore pictures.
hah. camwhore couple~
kissed and cuddled most time.
well, all the time actually.
couldn't get our hands off each other. *winks*
was the bising-est couple. heh.
and oh, pictures will up soon.

tuesday
yet another day
hmm.
don't what to expect of today.
there's project after school.
meeting him after his tuition around 9pm.
looking forward to that.
currently hungry like mad.
craving for bee hoon soto. heh.
favourite siak.
haven't had my morning smoke yet.
taking a puff after a meal does wonders.
works for me.
don't wanna go for project but hafta cause presentation's coming soon.
bleurgh.
i'm hungry.
so so hungry that i could die.
bah!

ok this has been a very stupid and dull entry.
heck care la.
so long.
[her]

xx happiness is always shortlived.

2004-10-02T08:25:00.000+08:00

ok i didn't take any MC last night cause i was damn lazy and i wanted to watch tv at his house.
heh.
surprise surprise, i went to sheng shiong with him and his mum.
i had a bloody good time, i tell you.
including irritating bee, which i had been doing ever since we met earlier that evening.

he got pissed off with me, saying i was too violent and all.
like he isnt.
BAH!
God, i just melt when he gives me that cute pathetic face.
nak manja je ehh anak mak nie. heh!
realised quite a while ago that he was quite manja with his mum.
well, that explains alot. hah

oh well, overall, i had a superb day.
and i hope today goes as well.
nobody's at home 'cept for me and my bro.
the rest are on the way to johor.
my dad's great grand auntie's getting married.
i couldn't care less anyway.
my sis will be back soon from work.
hmm. hope she brings something back cause i super hungry!

i've having insecurities about me, myself and i for the past week.
i look so tanned. where's my fair skin??
i have so many pimples and blackheads. nothing seems to make em disappear!
my tummy's getting really bloated.
man, i look like one pregnant bitch.
why do i feel insecure?
why do i feel so inferior?
where's my self-confidence?
my self-esteem?
urgh.

i hate the sight of you, nalisa.
you're so ugly.
you're so fat.
he's gonna leave you sooner or later
argh. paranoia's engulfing me yet again!
ahh i hate you, nalisa!!!
i hate me!!
fuck fuck fuck fuck!!!!!!!!!!!
[her]

xx goyang kepala goyang~

2004-10-01T13:38:00.000+08:00

school's suppose to start at 7.50 am today but i woke up at 9 am.
bleargh.
so much for trying to be punctual.
heh.
so i didn't go to school as expected.
spent the morning reading.
as of today, i've read at least ten books.
quite an accomplishment eyy.
i'm so proud of myself.
aren't you, bee?

oh yeah, mega perdana's on this sunday.
bee's expected to help.
as for me, i dunno.
maybe just drop by after the show.
he doesn't like guys ogling at me.
like there are guys who would even glance at my direction.
oh well, for his sake, i'll go along with his wants.

well i'm gonna pay the polyclinic a visit later this evening.
i need an MC badly cause i don't wanna have my attendance percentage affected.
the thought of me being debarred from exams sends chills down my spine.
i'm so not looking forward to that happening.

anyways, for those who are not blind, you'll notice i've finally changed the layout.
this layout will be only temporary.
still waiting for bee to finish his.
bleurgh.
that's one trait we have in common and that is procrastinating.
heh.
nothing to be proud of actually.
but hey, at least i admit it.

i think i've been too engrossed in love novels that i've somehow neglected the boy.
my gut feeling tells me so.
hah i'll make it up to him.
he knows i will.
heh.
[her]

xxdun feel tat way

2004-09-30T13:42:00.000+08:00

bee.. dun get uptight over money..
ive talk to my mom bout da darn bils..
so its nothing to worrie bout kie..
bersyukur dgn aper yng akan dtng
dun treat it negatively but infact make it as a test for us to go thru..
guess if we can go thru this part of our life
everiting else would be abit simpler..
aper aper yng diturunkan olehnya' ader baiknyer
we must endure
stay together
hold on tighter
together
as Allah is almighty
insyallah
baik akan dtng frm all this

love u nalisa
forever and ever

[him]

xx sick of everything.

2004-09-30T11:45:00.000+08:00

i'm sick of everything.
sick sick SICK!
life sucks to the max at the moment.

new problems arise as each day flies by.
now that's a reason to get fucked up about.
and it all stems from money.

it's true when people say that money makes the world go round.
i have alot of things to write about this topic but i'm not in any mood to do that.
life's not getting better for the both of us and i hate that.
i just want us to be happy, without a care in the world.
but it seems, luck is not by our side.
i'm sure things will improve soon.
i hope.
Insyallah.
[her]

xx i need to excrete some crap.

2004-09-29T09:20:00.000+08:00

eargasm: look what you have done - jet

hello.
i'm feeling kinda emo right now.
thanks to my dear classmate, wani, who's playing the song at her comp.
ahh you guys have gotta love this song.
lalala~

i'm gonna change the layout soon.
sick of the present already. heh.
oklah.
blog some more laters.
[her]

xx at home tinking

2004-09-27T09:35:00.000+08:00

aku tak hidop kerna doamu,
aku tak mati kerna sumpahan mu.

sometimes words of wisdom frm ma family really means alot.
i guess this words makes me stronger in facing he world.
in facing the critism i got frm people.
seems tat those close to me really understand wat kindda of person i really am.
i can be an irritating jerk but at the same time i think alot.
haiz ma thought makes me go crazy at time.
i feel insecure wen tinking bout ma dear..
tinking bout her in skool
then i tend to be posessive.
jealousy arose
haiz..
tinkin too much can really be a nuisence
hehe

k lah tats all for ma entry..
sesaper faham aper aku nyer first two phrase please define at the tagboard...
and make a good use for ureself too..

xx hmph-ness.

2004-09-26T21:53:00.000+08:00

hmph.
the group of friends i hang out with.
hmm.
i just realised i'm like the odd one out.
hmph.
whatever.
i just don't get why i'm so uptight about this.
BAH!

oh guess what, my mp3 player's died on me.
urgh.
how am i suppose to survive during those long mrt rides?
URGH!
i want a new mp3 player!!
uwek!!!

i'm on the phone with the boy right now.
he's singing to me. heh.
i just love his voice even though it sucks at times.
and i love it when he sings me to sleep.
ahh. so romantic right?
God, he makes me love him even more each day.
i'm such a sucker for love.
hah.

i'm currently hooked onto reggae, thanks to him.
heh. skank maha skank!!
actually i can't wait for the next gig cause me n bee will be going!
wee~
gona skank like hell.
too bad i'm not allowed to mosh.
ah nevermind.
as long as i get to skank, i'm more than content.

my blue school skirt's torn.
thank you, hairil.
i know you don't mean to do so but hey you owe me a skirt.
and so i had my other school skirt which is black in colour altered at the tailor's.
had it tapered (cause it was too big at the hips for me) and shortened.
it turned out to be such a big mistake.
ended up looking like a bloody mini skirt.
sheesh.
now i'll really look like a freaking minah.
BAH!!
i just hate it when people stereotype me by the way i dress.
just because i wear catherine ballet shoes to school does not mean i'm a freaking minah.
i just love those shoes, ok?
anyway they look cute on me. heh.
and what's wrong with me wearing tapered jeans?
like what bee would say, if you have it, you flaunt it.
get my drift?

oh what's the deal with minahs and roxy?
and mats and minahs with studded belts?
what the fuck.
what is this world coming to??

i guess doomsday's just round the corner.
so everybody please go and taubat.
pray hard, people.
[her]

xx plimplomp

2004-09-26T20:42:00.000+08:00

juz came back frm library

tu ajer..

i love u lisa

[him]

xx yeah-ness!!

2004-09-26T13:15:00.000+08:00

wee~
the comp's all good already.
heh.

it's 12.16pm exactly and i'll be meeting the boy at 1pm.
and unsurprisingly, i haven't taken my shower yet.
heh.
i'm just too lazy to shower.
too lazy to strip.
too lazy to turn on the tap.
to lazy to shampoo and condition my hair
too lazy to wash myself with soap.
too lazy to even get ready.
BAH.
so agonizing.

hmm. my bro's waiting for his turn at the computer.
play games only.
camne tak bodoh. waha!

the boy and me have plans to go to the library later.
you see, i've been engrossed in books lately.
guess i'm just really bored.
school's a bore.
there's practically nothing to do at home 'cept for chores.
which i loathe doing.
who doesnt?
so call me a bookworm or whatever.
i don't mind.
i just love reading books.
stimulates my ever-mundane mind.
heh.

and yeah, i'm trying to make him read more books.
even if it takes him a month to finish one bloody book.
hah. the word's perseverance, people.
get that into your minds.
you too, hairil.
you really need to buck up on your english.
as you know, i've always criticised on your poor grasp of english.
heh. yeah yeah, you get pissed at that all the time.
and so i'm making an effort to help you.
do me proud yea?
love you~~

i think i should get going.
you know, shower and doll up for my baby which i rarely do.
heh.
blog laters.
bye.
[her]

xxakulah nie

2004-09-24T21:44:00.000+08:00

holla semua aku dah sampai dari tuition...
pompan nie sayang jugak kat aku....khkehekhekh...
seems tat everiting been so freakingly shit dis days xcept for today..
haiz life life... ader part gerek ader part tak.. but still haf to go thru...
sheesh.. maybe i feel like a biggest jerk nowadays...
this girl who is sitting beside me makes me feel inferior..
not only for ma shittie language but also for the way i am..
never felt this way b4... but apernak buat.. lisa lisa....
muahkz i love u darlin
despite our problems... and all ure vulgar language towards me..
i still love u deep down in my heart...

to end this update i would like to inform u all that we getting MARRIED nex month.. so long... dtng eh.. jgn tak datang..

lots of love to.. my lisa.. muahkz..
love u soo much nalisa
[*HIM*]

xx blahness.

2004-09-24T20:23:00.000+08:00

ok i'm at bedok cc (i think) right now.
doing what?
surfing the net la.
my comp's giving me probs again.
my bro has been pestering me to do something about it.
being the usual procrastinator i am, i've done nothing.
waha.

in the meantime, i'm waiting for the boy.
hah. see, lisa so nice wait for hairil to finish his tuition.

anywhos, both of us have decided on a time-off.
you know, give more space for other important shit like school.
time-off time-off pon jumpe gak. waha.
hah. i've skipped school twice this week.
i'm so gonna be debarred from exams.
die die.

i'm horny.
where's my horny boy?
waha.

i've been wasting my allowance on cigarettes this week.
waha.
3 packs if i'm not mistaken.
i'm crazy. heh.
what's new, anyway?

and oh, the boy has this thing against my school friends.
he hates them, he tells me.
BAH.
whatever, love.

me and hairil's gonna jet off to JB next month.
hah. more like bus off.
anyone who wants to tag along, please inform me ya.
i bet it's gonna be so much fun.

hmm.
i'm hungry.
again.
hah. ate at hairil's house already actually.
man, i think i'll turn out fat even before i bear any kids. heh.

there's this guy beside me who is so kental.
bwahaha.
nothing better to do than criticise people.

lala. i spend like one hour on this entry.
hah. i'm such a lazy-ass.
somebody spank me.

ok i wanna go watch porn ah.
do you think the cc's comp allows that?
hah doubt so.
but who cares, it's worth a try.
bwahahhaha.
[her]

xx lookie lookie it's me dookie blogging. waha. wtf.

2004-09-22T10:13:00.000+08:00

i miss blogging so much.
my LJ's fucked up.
can't do much about it though.
i suck at html.
the only person i can rely on is hairil.
but i guess he's just as lazy as i am.
so what the hell.
heh.

hmm. a lot of things have, is and will be happening.
things were not going well for us the previous week.
currently, it's all good.
i love him and i know he loves me too.
i can't bear to part with him cause he's a part of me.

he's my boyfriend.
he's my best friend.
he's my lover.
he's my horny boy. *winks*
he's part of my family.
he's my cute idiot/bugger.
he's my partner in crime.
he's my wrestling partner.
he's my sarcastic piece of crap.
he's my chubby handsome dimpled killer smile baby botak.
he's my over-possessive hubby.
he's my significant other.
he's my green-eyed good-looking monster.
he's my sexy boxer-clad booty shaker.
he's my the-one-who-loves-to-treat-me-like-his-punching-bag.
he's my mr killer smile.
he's my crazy asshole.
he's my shoulder to cry on.
he's the one who'll catch me when i fall. literally i mean. heh.
and oh he's my we-gonna-last-forever-and-ever- boy.
nobody can touch him except for me.
me and ME ONLY!

waha.
i'm bloody emo right now.
have been this way for the past week.
crying till my eyes pop out every night.
suffering from major insomnia.
been stuffing myself with chocolate.
as a result i have like 5 big zits on my upper lip. sheesh~
putting on weight again.
sigh.
smoking excessively too.
bah.
i hate my tummy.
i hate my complexion.
i hate my feet.
i hate my boobs which resembles cherries on a flatboard.
grr.
i hate being cashless.
i hate it when perverts stare at my boobs and comment that im very fleshy.
GRRRRR~~
i hate myself.

but i do love my black and white nails.
heh.
by the way, check out nadd's blog.
got my writing la.
i'm so proud of myself. heh.
and yeah, thanks nadd for copyrighting it.

oklah. i've had enough blogging for now.
fyi, i'll be closing down the blog soon cause i hate you fucking assholes who can't seem to mind their own frigging business.
so fuck you, aye?

so long, blogger.
hello LJ.
[her]

xxno words

2004-09-08T09:42:00.000+08:00

maybe this is da beginning again
beginning of a new relationship
beginning after the end
i realise wat i am
wat i have been this past five months
seems a waste to throw it all away
instead of telling u to change
i guess i found another solution
which is for me to change ma ways
the flaw in me been seen by u
i realise when i was shitting in da toilet b4 going to skool
kuakuakuakuakua
maybe toilet is the best place to think
hehehe
the place u all least xpected
but its true
biler tngh mengeran eh
otak berfungsi lebih
tats the place tat separates us frm the outside world
i guess its time for me to change
ma perangai
ma posessiveness
ma jealousy
ma assumption
and etc etc

i love u nurul nalisa
like we promise
we will be together forever

xx a million sighs.

2004-09-06T20:50:00.000+08:00

a happy face masks my breaking heart.
it's hard enough putting up a cheerful front for the people around me.
deep down inside, i'm hurting so much.
it's my fault, i realise that.
i apologise for that.
i deserved what you did to me and please, don't say sorry.
you did no wrong.

but you did choose not to believe me.
i was pissed at that as a matter of fact.
you accuse me of lying.
i denied cause i knew i wasn't.
but you were so confident that your assumption was true.
and so let it be.
we fought, as expected.
made a helluva drama.
i was hurt emotionally and physically.
i know you were too.

sometimes i feel like giving up but every time i remembered of my promise to you.
i know i'm the queen of promise-breaking but hey, you know i'll never leave you.
the first time we kissed, i've promised to be there for you always.
i broke that promise when i rejected you at that time.
i regretted it.
i'd promised you i'll never leave you even though we're at the point of no tomorrow.
and i intend not to break that promise.
i love you too much.
too much to even leave you.

oh God, help me.
you know, i'm gonna heed your advice for once and converse with Him.
i'm sure it'll help.
toodle-doo.
[her]

xx i want things to go OUR way!

2004-09-05T14:44:00.000+08:00

urgh.
sometimes i just can't be bothered with everything.
why can't things be perfect for me and him?
why must selfishness exist in this fucking stereotyped world?
can life get any worse than this?
BAH!
[her]

xxhairil jadik cikgu eh

2004-09-04T13:01:00.000+08:00

hoohooo
im a tutor since 2 weeks ago
and i juz got another good news
alhamdulillah
dpt lagik satu student
kirakan now i haf two student
hehehe
primary three-mon n thurs-$120
primary five-tues n fri-$150
maybe this is da point i settle all ma hutangs
hehe
this is like a dream
hairil jadik cikgu eh..
kuakuaukua
ma frens juz laugh wen they got to knoe this..
heheheh
lagi lagik ma baby'
ma frens, ma baby lisa, ma darling sisters and ma parents giving me all the support i need n
encouragement.. i really treasure them all
all i have to say is thankz
and alhamdullilah

P.S: sesiaper minat juz ask me for da agency nyer num juz ask kie...
if im not wrong its all over sg

[him]

xx indecisive-ness.

2004-09-04T11:32:00.000+08:00

as you would have noticed, i've added more pics to the blog.
i thought it might help liven this bloody dull blog of ours.
oh well. a job well done to me.
heh.
i'm still contemplating whether to change the layout again.
do you think i should? hmm. *thinks*
oh yah, i'm currently hooked on MBR's if all else fails. again.
huhu. oh god. i used to love this song alot.
emo maha emo~

you know, i miss going to gigs.
i miss fellow scenesters.
i miss those cute girls watching sessions. heh.
i miss the atmosphere.
i miss the live music.
i miss watching bands strut their stuff.
i miss ogling at the instruments and hi-tech equipment.
i miss moshing.
i miss skanking.
oh what more can i say.
i miss everything about gigs.

and guess what, eversince i've stopped gig-ing, i've had this desire to go clubbing again.
heh. ah fat hope.
hairil would never agree to it.
even though it's unfair to me.
well. no big deal.
i'm happy as i am right now.

i found something sweet for him.
heh. muacks~

To love is to share life together
to build special plans just for two
To work side by side
and then smile with pride
As one by one, dreams all come true.

To love is to help and encourage
with smiles and sincere words of praise
To take time to share
to listen and care
In tender, affectionate ways.

To love is to have someone special
one who you can always depend
To be there through the years
sharing laughter and tears
As a partner, a lover, a friend.

To love is to make special memories
of moments you love to recall
Of all the good things
that sharing life brings
Love is the greatest of all.

I've learned the full meaning
of sharing and caring
and having my dreams all come true
I've learned the full meaning
of being in love
by being and loving with you.

i'm glad i met someone like you in my life.

my heart has left its dwelling place and can return no more.

xx falling in love all over again.

2004-09-04T00:50:00.000+08:00

today was a day well spent.
everything went smoothly as i've hoped.
thank God.
we had so much fun together, just the two of us.
we chilled at the spiderweb thingy at sun plaza park.
heh. gerek la!
i must admit, we were behaving like small kids the whole evening.
oh well, me and bee had a superb time even though it wasn't officially a date whatsoever.
all that matters is we spent quality time as a couple.
i love you, botak!! huhu.
i lup u! i lup u! i lup u! i lup u!!!!!!!!!
and oh we saw bee's friends at the park near my place.
sat around for a while and then we were off.
eyy before i forget...

HAPPY FIVE MONTHS OF TOGETHERNESS!

heh. uhh look at the time.
i've promised to call him back after blogging.
well i wouldn't wana break my promise, would i? heh.
ok bye.

xxidiotic me

2004-09-03T14:32:00.000+08:00

sometimes i do smthoing without thinking...
haiz.. me and ma big mouth
ma jealousy
ma mind
ma tinking
wats wrong wif me
am i losing it all???
sorie my dear for all i did to hurt u

Ma darling sis love this song
she makes me hooked to it
khekhehke

My Happy Ending
by Avril Lavigne

So much for my happy ending
oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...
Let's talk this over
It's not like we're dead
Was it something I did?
Was it something you said?

Don't leave me hangin'
In a city so dead
Held up so high
On such a breakable thread
You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be
CHORUS
You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
And all of our memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
So much for my happy ending
You've got your dumb friends
I know what they say
They tell you I'm difficult
But so are they
But they don't know me
Do they even know you?
All the things you hide from me
All the shit that you do
You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be
CHORUS
It's nice to know that you were there
Thanks for acting like you cared
And making me feel like I was the only one
It's nice to know we had it all
Thanks for watching as I fall
And letting me know we were done
CHORUS X 2
So much for my happy ending
So much for my happy ending

xx changes.

2004-09-02T15:42:00.000+08:00

changes happen everywhere, all the time.
it happens to everything and everyone.
we just have to learn to adapt to it whether you accept it or not.
oh well. i hope you can accept me the way i am now, love.
i've changed so much for you and i hope you love me the same.
muacks~
[her]

xx bahang la beb!!

2004-08-31T17:45:00.000+08:00

my armpit's wet from perspiration. heh.
the weather's getting more torturous every single day and i think i'm gonna die from overheating.
and yeah, my armpit's excreting more sweat at the moment.
*please note that i use deodrant.*
hah. i'm full of crap today cause i'm bored.
ok ok the main reason is bee's with his friends at esplanade.
doing some stuff lah.
maybe club later on. heh.
rabak tak ajak org. nama je matair. hehe.
our lives are getting on real good except for the part where HE LOST HIS BLOODY WALLET.
oh well. nevermind.
thing's will okay again, i hope.
i've noticed i've changed alot this few days.
physically. characterwise.
i learnt to control my temper, be more patient blah blah blah.
you guys don't need to know anyway.
;p
can you imagine i lost 3kg in a period of 4 days?
unbelievable?
believe it.
i guess it must be the pills i'm currently taking.
in one day, i have to swallow as many as 12 pills.
of course, i do have a medical reason but it's not for you people to know.
bluek!
hmm.
i miss hairil.
and i mean ALOT.
he's busy with work, school and friends.
including me of course. heh.
i know you've been giving me all the attention in the world but i want more.
i'm such a greedy bitch. heh.
oh yah, happy advance teachers' day.
to all teachers obviously.
like duh. heh.
by the way, i hate the teachers at school.
they're just a bunch of numbskulls.
just like the school itself.
bottomline, i hate ite west clementi.
ok bye.
[her]

xxhairil boleh jadi giler

2004-08-31T09:00:00.000+08:00

im at skool right now..
bsok teachers day abih bnyk orng tak dtng
kuakuakuakua
aku bleh jadik giler dalam class
things been better nowadays
btw

AKU HILANG WALLET AKU SIAK

dalam ader
.ic aku
.basspass aku
.basspass afif
.nets aku
.nets lisa
.some cash
.gambar babyku
.surat2 penting
.namecard2 penting

untitled.

2004-08-28T12:32:00.000+08:00

sigh. i miss her already.
semoga Allah mencucuri Rahmat ke atas rohnya.
*prays silently*
anyways, i would like to express my gratitude to friends for all the comfort and concern you've shown us.
and oh especially to bee, thank you for being there for me through all those bad times even though i pushed you aside.
you don't realise how much you mean to me.
i'm also sorry for all the hurt i've caused if any.
i'll always love you with all my heart.
muacks~
i know, i know.
i owe you lotsa kisses and hugs.
i promise i'll never deprive you of kisses and hugs anymore.
you know how much i love that lips and touch of yours. heh.
be with me forever, will you?
[her]

xx guess who's back.

2004-08-26T18:28:00.000+08:00

wee.
we're back.
everything's all right now.
you guys didn't have to worry. heh.
actually i kinda missed blogging.
partly coz my lj's cocked up and nobody seems to want to help me.
so nevermind.
i'll deal with it later.
and please, don't nuisance tag.
thank you.
[her]

xxtoodles

2004-08-16T17:34:00.000+08:00

we're ON HIATUS
till then,
have a happy life

[him&her]

xx it's over.

2004-08-16T17:13:00.000+08:00

we'll be on hiatus.
yes, ON HIATUS.
till then, do enjoy life to the fullest.
treasure your loved ones.
you never know when they'll leave you.
[her]

xx it's over and done.

2004-08-16T17:09:00.000+08:00

xx who's fault is it, anyway?

2004-08-12T13:46:00.000+08:00

revenge.
what will you get from all this?
from all the words you say. from everything you're doing right now.
who started it first?
i thought it was long over. for good.
but hey, mind what you put at your own blog.
i'm not trying to aggravate matters but when somebody tries to bring me down, i stand up for myself.
you would do the same too, wouldn't you?
come on, think.
you're making things worse than it seems.
oh and please, you serve no right to call me and hairil animals.
are you blind or something?
we're humans too just like you.
is there no humility left in you?
i do realise i've said/tagged some things i shouldn't have said/tagged.
and i'm sorry for that.
ahh it won't make any difference if i say/type anymore.
it's of no use.
i hope you're happy now.
[her]

xxwatever

2004-08-12T13:09:00.000+08:00

its not me who start it agin..
i juz pissed off by wat wani write in her blog..
haf u read it??
hakz dun push the blame on us
if either of our name is not up there i wouldnt tag all the nasty things
as i say watever
korang dah memang dendam aku per
so let it be
sorie to hurt ure feeling by wat i tagged
by as much as u hate me tag there
we too dun like our name to be ther either
so let it be
all i should say is sorie
and tats all i can say

xx if i'm a bitch, then you're a BIGGER bitch!

2004-08-11T21:20:00.000+08:00

everything sucks when you're not here with me.
everybody else sucks especially that bunch of immatured mofos.
aww. you know who you are.
heh. k bye.
[her]

XXcant sleep

2004-08-10T02:15:00.000+08:00

tingking of ya
i cant sleep
tinking of ya
i simply miss ya alot
tat coz ma mouth to talk non stop
kkhekhekhe love u nalisa...

xx a day without him.

2004-08-08T14:30:00.000+08:00

he mms-ed me just now.
he sent me a pic of him, grinning from ear to ear, his nephew (i think) at his waist.
omg.
i miss him so much that i cried.
heh. i am so bloody emo right now.
why won't this tears stop?
oh my. he looks so GORGEOUS in long-sleeves.
i'm crying and drooling at the same time.
i miss you, baby.
i miss you.
i miss you.
i miss you.
i miss you.
i miss you.
i miss you.
i miss you.
I MISS YOU!!
[her]

xx random.

2004-08-06T10:03:00.000+08:00

i have 200 sheets of paper in front of me and i still don't have enough room to tell you how much i love you.
muacks~
[her]

xxme too in class

2004-08-05T13:53:00.000+08:00

me too in class...haiz...
so bored...
suppose to do some e-tutor
but i lost ma password
khekhekhe
cikgu tngh tngk aku skarang..
senyum selalu lah aku
i miss her alot
arghh guess skool
really pulls us apart..
all the tiring day at skool
spoils our night when we mit...
argh
but this is all part and parcel of a relatinship..
hee...
muahkz muahkz muahkz

xx lapar la dei.

2004-08-05T09:03:00.000+08:00

my stomach's grumbling.
i feel so hungry. urgh.
i can't wait for break time.
huhu. i am SO gonna eat.
heh.
i had a lovely evening with bee yesterday.
we went to changi beach and laid down, gazing at the stars.
and eventually fell asleep.
ah it was great overall.
love you, my cutie pie.
oh i met my girlfriends too.
i asked bee to tag along.
i miss my girlfriends so much.
ahhh when want to date again??
heh.
ok lah. the next lesson's gonna start soon.
i wanna edit my presentation.
my class had to do a presentation about our own selves.
i think mine's kinda lame. heh.
as expected.
and yeah, i put me and bee's photo on the main slide. huhu.
lawa lawa~
i won't be meeting him today cause he's gonna skate with his friends later.
i hope it'll rain and then he'll have a reason to meet me.
so please make it rain, God.
[her]

xx study study study.

2004-08-04T12:55:00.000+08:00

i'm secretly blogging in class right now.
which means the lecturer doesn't know i even switched on the computer.
so what the hell. heh.
i'm so bloooody bored.
the weather's killing me too.
i tell you i'm end up hangus if this kind of weather persists.
ok i wanna copy notes.
love you, my hunny bunny. heh.
hunny bunny sia. huhuhuhuhu.
he's gonna so freak out.
heh.
heh.
heh.
huh.
bluek!
[her]

xxEmpat bUlan SEh

2004-08-04T10:53:00.000+08:00

aik dah empat bulan seh
lots of things happen
ups and down
haish
wish this for months will lead to years and years to come...hehehhe

HAPPY 4 MONTHS MY DARLING!!!!!

xx muacks.

2004-08-03T22:29:00.000+08:00

happy 4 months of togetherness, dearest.
we gonna last forever!
wee~ heh.
love you lots lots.
[her]

xx letdowns.

2004-08-02T09:02:00.000+08:00

ah it seems the plan to go JB's off.
grr.
parents.
sheesh.
they never keep to their end of the bargain.
well. in this case, mine.
lalalala~
i've got a medical appointment later so obviously i'm not going to school.
hairil still doesn't know i'm not going across the causeway.
i called him just now but nobody picked up.
so i guess he's still sleeping. as usual.
and oh last night, we had an argument.
haish.
we made up of course.
it's a wonder how a small matter can balloon into a big deal.
ok i realise it was my fault for freaking out like that.
gee. what the hell was i thinking?
anyway my dad promised to pay back my money but now he's delaying the payback again.
TWICE!
sheesh.
now i won't be able to get bee's birthday present.
argh. bullshit man.
i so don't wanna disappoint him but now..
urgh.
some things will never change.
[her]

xx message.

2004-07-31T10:55:00.000+08:00

my entry accidentally got deleted.
stupid me.
anyways, it's hairil's birthday today.
happy 19th birthday, dearest.
yes, you'll get what you want next week.
provided i get what i want on my birthday. heh.
oh i managed to sing him a birthday song and sorts at midnight sharp.
well we were together till 1am.
i thought it would be better if we stayed on for a while till 1am and so we did.
he was a happy boy this morning cause i gave him 19 kisses.
ok ok. 21 kisses to be exact.
i got carried away. huhu.
suka suka skali~~
hmm.
someone mentioned this phrase to me 'look at yourself before you look at others'.
i thought about it a lot and i know i did look at myself in the mirror before pointing at other people's wrongdoings.
of course i'm aware everybody's prone to making mistakes.
nobody's perfect right?
unless somebody out there thinks he/she is so bloody perfect.
and please, if you hate us, don't fill our tagboard with anti-us messages.
it's just so LAME.
so if you're a pathetic lamer, please keep up with the nuisance taggings.
and do use your real name and not put your name as "lisnrilsucks" and "theysuck".
if we suck, the you suck even more.
using fake identities is so passe.
so please keep those comments flooding ya.
i look forward to it.
[her]

xx love is everything.

2004-07-30T09:50:00.000+08:00

In love,
very rarely do we win but
when love is true,
even if you lose,
you still win just for having
the tingle of loving someone more than
you love yourself.
[*him*]

xx sway with me, love.

2004-07-28T21:55:00.000+08:00

i can't seem to smoke properly anymore.
i can't breathe in the smoke.
i guess it must have been the fact that i've been experiencing breathing difficulties ever since i cut down so much on my cigarette intake.
so i thought i should change to menthol or menthol lights.
which means i won't be able to share ciggies with hairil.
aww.
as of now, hairil's having a 'meeting' with the guys.
i do hope things won't get any worse.
they seem like a bunch of girls.
heh. more worse off i say.
dengki habes dorg. revenge is what you guys seek.
ah i promised bee i won't put an entry about the conflict.
well. i don't wanna make you guys think we're seeking sympathy or what shit.
no sides should be taken in this case.
no use brooding over this anyways.
but i do hope they'll realise their mistake and receive their retribution.
the only thing i want right now is to be by his side.
but unfortunately, i can't go out this late.
haish.
and oh, nobody can bring us down.
not even the guys.
heart you lots, love.
[her]

xx whatever.

2004-07-27T19:34:00.000+08:00

gee.
what bullshit.
he's twisting all his words and bringing up past matters.
what fuckness.
hairil has totally given up on the guys.
for good.
which is good considering they are a bunch of hypocrites.
yeah. hypocrites.
and oh i wanna apologise to Wani for tagging what i tagged.
come to think of it, she's not in the wrong and out of anger, i typed all that shit.
well. sorry.
i'm not trying to meddle in your affairs.
i really can't be bothered you see.
haish. i'm sick and tired of all this.
i thought only girls would have this kinda problem.
ah guys are no different.
anyways there's just one thing i'm really pissed about.
it's the fact that the guys are spreading the word about our conflict.
da agak da. nmpk sah bdk2 bebual blkg.
you guys are trying to bring down hairil's reputation.
but hey, whatever.
i don't give a hoots about whta other people think.
gosh. things will never be the same again. ever.
you people go lead your own bloody lives.
i'll act as if i don't recognise you when i see you.
i'm happy spending my time studying and spending the rest of my time with hairil.
he's the only one who knows how to make me happy.
i don't know what i'll ever do without him.
we've argued alot over the past few days.
but we made up eventually.
well there are ups and downs in a relationship and i accept that.
i just hope we won't have to go through this rough patch again.
but whatever it is, we'll go through everything together.
we'll share happiness and sorrow too.
hand in hand.
muacks, love.
once a hypocrite, always a hypocrite.
[her]

XX wat a week

2004-07-27T10:38:00.000+08:00

everiting is over
nothing is to be confess
nothing is to be brag about
if u all think uve done nothing
then be it
i haf no comments nimore
u lead ure own life,
u all make ure own frens,
wat u all think i am is none of ma concern
this cunfusion tat hapen bring all of us down
and also made me understand
if this should be the end
there should be a reason
i admit defeated
so let us rest this matter

[*him*]

xx no happy ending.

2004-07-25T13:35:00.000+08:00

things are gonna get worse.
and i can't be bothered anymore.
once bitten twice shy.
no no.
more like TWICE bitten.
fuck this hypocrisy.

xx skipping school. again.

2004-07-19T00:17:00.000+08:00

i skipped school. again.
heh.
i got mc!! haha.
i've been spending time with bee since morning.
he's cooking maggie goreng right now.
how nice of him.
i love him so much.
lalalala~
i was browsing through his files and chanced upon his pictures with his ex-girlfriends.
uuuhhh. lawa lawa.
i loike~ heh.
i just love cute girls. huhuhu.
i'm turning senget.
haha.
and oh i cam across his baby photos.
thought he would be thrilled at the idea of his baby photos being publicised at our blog.
ok here goes.
anyways comment banyak-banyak k.
heh.

heh. cute kan??!!
[her]

xx mosh jangan tak mosh.

2004-07-18T16:37:00.000+08:00

sheesh.
parents can be so unreasonable.
imagine being forced to wake up in the wee hours of the morning with them nagging about your messy room and ordering you to tidy it up on the spot.
can't it bloody wait till the afternoon?
ever since, my mom's been nagging at even the slightest things.
i just don't get it.
ok ok enough of this parent-related entries.
oh anyways day two of baybeats was okay uh.
so far, i only enjoyed two bands' performance.
and i didn't manage to catch force vomit.
urgh.
i can't remember the two band names but both are really superb bands.
fuh. power i tell you.
there was this band. urm. their name starts with W.
dunno how to spell. heh.
my baybeats booklet's with hairil and i'm too lazy to check the webbie.
ok during that band's performance, bee pushed me into the moshpit.
idiot.
and along with my bag and my specs on.
of course i was caught off guard.
well. i had a bloody good time though.
huhu.
but then again, i prefer skanking.
i can multi-task during skanking.
i can grind with bee. i can blah blah blah.
yeah, some idiot pulled my hair while i was moshing.
fucker.
lucky me the pull didn't leave any permanent damage on my hair for eg a bald spot.
man. i wanna mosh somemore.
i just hope bee will let me mosh again at the Girl Fest 2 gig.
*winks*
and oh siddiq fell on his back last night in front of a lot of people.
haha.
a job well done to alfam. heh.
i could see siddiq was really embarrassed.
the guys were laughing like hell.
huhuhu.
padan muke kau boy!!
hmm. i saw shikin while me, bee and mus were going down the escalator.
woo. pretty pretty.
i loike~ heh.
i'm still undecided whether to go to baybeats again.
after all, today's the last day.
*thinks*
so should i go or not?
[her]

xxquestionaire

2004-07-18T15:30:00.000+08:00

FOR GUYS TO FILL OUT ON GIRLS
1. Regular underwear or G?: - capital G
2. Painted nails or not?: - NOT
3. Bra or sports bra?: - BRA but... without is better
4. Cute n mysterious or wild n sexy?: - Cute N wilD
5. Dressy or casual?: - DreSSY
6. Dark or blonde hair?: -DArK
7. Long or short hair?: -LonG
8. Dark or light eyes?: - DArK
9. Long or short nails?: - ShorT
10. Hat or no hat?: - NO hAT
11. Good or bad girl?: - GOoD
12. Fat or thin?: - Thin
13. Hair up or down?: -HUH???
14. Jewellery on or none?: - soMe
15. Short or tall?: - aVerAGE
16. Curly or straight hair?: - CurLy
17. Pants or dress?: - DreSS
18. Tan or fair?: - FAIr
19. Freckles or none? : -NOnE
20. Indoor or outdoor? : - inDooR
21. Shy or outgoing?: - shY

1. Would you date someone just for his/her looks?: yeAH
2. Chocolate or white milk?: White MIlK
3. Mud or jelly?:muD
4. Skiing or boarding?:BOarding
5. Summer or winter?: wiNter
6. Cake or pie?: cakE
7. Silver or gold?: SIlvEr
8. Sunset or sunrise?: sunRisE
9. Have you ever fractured/broken/sprained a bone?: YEah...sprAined ma ankle
10. What's your favorite color?: GreeN
11. Do you hate anyone?:alOt
12. What do you dream about?: L.I.S.A
13. Do you have a HUGE crush on someone right now?:nope
14. Who's the loudest friend?: guess im da loudest among ma friends
15. Who's the quietest friend?: tak tau plak
16. Who do you tell your dreams to?: depends who i spoke to the dae wen i dream
17. What shampoo and conditioner do you use?: vidal sassoon
18. How many TVs in your house?: 3
19. Who's the last person you called?: L.I.S.A
20. Where do you want to get married?: esplanade kuakuakua tapi i guess bawah blok gak
21. Favorite number?: 13
22. Favorite boy names?:hairil
23. Favorite girl names?: lisa
24. Have you ever gone skinny dipping?:nope
25. Have you been heart broken?: yeah

xx baybeats rock!

2004-07-17T00:28:00.000+08:00

*yawns*
i just woke up from my beauty sleep.
the time now is exactly 11:57 am.
yea, i have not showered yet.
eee. bucuk~
the swell on tembel-ed right eye has reduced drastically overnight which is a good sign.
thank you bee for the wet kisses.
ok yesterday bee whirled me again twice.
twice i tell you. that's double the dizziness.
and the second time was in front of the guys.
how embarrassing.
he never fails to embarrass me in public.
well. i've gotten used to it anyways.
heh.
the guys jammed yesterday.
ok ok ah.
i fell asleep in the jamming room amidst the loud music.
guess i was very tired.
oh yah, finally i bought my school uniform.
i got my blouses already but not my skirts.
the aunty said my skirt size was 3XL.
pantat kau lah.
i tried on 2XL and it was just nice except that i was lacking in the hip department.
the hip area's really baggy.
so i kebas-ed the skirt i tried on.
heh. i'll be collecting the other two skirts next friday.
i tell you, my school's the lamest of all.
the only school that didn't sell the uniforms before school starts.
kan bodoh. menyusah kan first years aje kene akai baju rumah for two weeks. mampos tanak.
hmm. i'd have to taper and alter my kebas-ed skirt.
how much do you guys think it will cost to get all that done at the tailor's?
i seriously do not have enough cash.
all my cash is gone to my cab fare.
haish. best not talk about it.
gee. i need to dye my hair black.
i need a haircut.
i need cash to pay my outstanding bills.
i need to topup my mrt consession.
i need to buy hair conditioner.
i need loads and loads of greens.
argh.
anybody got lobang?
oh before i forget, baybeats rocks!
huhu.
i loike~
i very much loved the performances at the stage.
moshing was not allowed. heh.
fierce ah the security.
i can't wait for today's performances.
woo.
oh dear. i need to wash up and fetch bee from work.
yeah yeah i know.
so nice of me to pick him up and send him home.
heh.
i'm a good girlfriend mah.
eyy anywhos the new blogger posting page's very user-friendly.
huhuhu.
i loike~
[edited] urgh. bee just told me over the phone that he botak-ed his hair.
no more mohawk.
but the lines on the side of his head remains.
in fact, he had new lines done on his remaining hair.
oh only those who has seen his mohawk hair with lines on the right side will know.
and correction, i won't be fetching him from work since i still haven't bathed.
heh. will be meeting him at bedok interchange.
i asked him to bring my chucks along in exchange for my jeans.
he's planning to do something with my jeans like the one he accidentally did using black cutex.
anyways thank you bee for washing my chucks.
heh. babuku~
i can't wait to meet him.
better shower now.
and oh meet you guys at baybeats later!
woohoo!!
[her]

xx sing the happy happy happy happy happy happy song!

2004-07-16T00:52:00.000+08:00

right on.
i'm so SO happy right now.
everything's going on wonderful for the both of us.
but i still think i need anger management classes.
and that i should use my brain more often.
ain't that right, love?
*winks*
i just hate this iWebMusic thingy.
so many darn popups.
very irritating.
oh well. better than not having a music host at all.
anyways i accompanied bee to bedok north to skate.
we ate first.
oh it seems he can't skate like he used to.
i guess the main cause must be the frequent cycling and ehem2. heh.
but there were parts where he could do a perfect landing.
bravo to bee for his never give up attitude.
and not to forget his one and only tembel-ed eyed and bulging tummy cheerleader.
who else?
truly yours. huhu.
bee was pissed at first cause there were lotsa kids riding mini bikes around the vicinity.
heh. cute siak the kids.
alas, around 9.30, he finally had his chance to really skate.
(we actually reached the place around 8.)
i just love it when he skates half naked.
huhu.
as usual, he looks oh so yummy with his full of fats belly.
heh. cakap org~
oh yah, throughout the evening, i was whining about my tembel-ed eye.
"u, mate i saket. nk kish~~"
i know.
i am shameless.
hah. all girls crave for their boyfriend's affection, ain't that right?
ok so sometimes bee would reply with a wet kiss on my eye.
i type sometimes cause at other times, he was ignoring me.
was i that desperate, whiny and annoying?
no doubt about that. heh.
but still his kisses helped ease the pain.
thank you, bee.
after he was tired of skating, we proceeded home.
we met ju, mus and siddiq at bedok interchange.
bee was pissed off with siddiq cause somehow siddiq told him over phone he wanted to skate too after he fetched mus from tuition but siddiq didn't call back.
bubble ah kau boy~
kedebak kedebuk, we parted ways with the guys and off we went to get me home.
ah i miss hairil already.
anywhos i asked him for a favour just now.
i asked him to graff our names so that i can put it as the background of our blog.
it would nice, right?
uuuuhhh i can imagine it already.
both our names graff-ed in a rainbow of colours.
fuh. it would really brighten up the blog unlike the usual dark colours i did for the previous templates.
erk. this entry's getting way too long.
i should stop now.
fullstop.
[her]

xx such whiteness's hurting my tembel-ed eye.

2004-07-15T17:09:00.000+08:00

huhu.

new layout.

a huge difference from the previous one.

enjoy.

anywhos i miss bee.

i want him to kiss my tembel-ed eye like last night.

i want kishy kishy!!!

heh.

[her]

xx pusing-pusing.

2004-07-15T14:42:00.000+08:00

my right eye is swollen.

tembel uh.

well that's what my mom told me so whatever.

it hurts alot.

and i can't even see properly due to the fact that i'm unable to open up my right eye wide enough to see anything.

sheesh.

guess this is my retribution for ogling at girls at school.

huhuhu.

so sad.

what a torture.

ok about yesterday's incident.

i don't think i'll report it to the police.

no use since i can't recall that fucker's face.

urgh.

i'm still traumatized though.

i cried last night.

haish.

bee was mad of course.

which boyfriend wouldn't?

well.

i dowana brood on it for too long.

the more i dwell on it, the more upset i get.

imagine having your modesty outraged by some stranger.

double haish.

last night's outing with bee didn't go as expected.

both of us were in a bad mood lest in a mood to do anything.

we argued over the most trival matters.

triple haish.

i'm really sorry.

i'm really sorry for "infecting" you with my ever bad mood.

oh gosh.

my bloody eye hurts alot even though i've applied eye drops.

what fuckness.

anywhos towards the end of our so-called outing, bee gave me a whirl of my life.

huhuhu.

that really lifted up my spirits.

when we were saying our goodbyes, he suddenly carried me.

i dunno how to explain how he carried me but roughly it's like when somebody wants to kidnap you and they carry you in a way that you're upside down and facing the kidnapper's back and so he's holding you by your thighs/legs i think.

hah what crap am i talking.

and then bee whirled around for like dunno almost a minute and when he finally stopped, both of us fell to the ground, feeling all dizzy.

huhu.

all that happened at the lift lobby on my floor.

huhu.

crazy i tell you.

i have the craziest boyfriend ever and i love him for being himself.

and yeah we were laughing like hell.

that was the best part of yesterday.

ah i miss him so much.

hope he's getting on fine at school.

speaking of school, i didn't attend school today.

why?

like duh.

my eye lah.

i'll look like one mofo with a swollen eye if i go to school.

heh.

well. i wanna settle a bag of ice over my eye to reduce the swell.

blog again later.

SAKET MATA!!! BIKIN SAKET MATA!! BILA TERKENA KENCING LIPAS ABEH MATA TEMBEL!!! HUHUHHU!!

[her]

xx i am traumatized.

2004-07-14T14:46:00.000+08:00

i

was

molested

just

now.

help.

i am bloody traumatized.

should i make police report?

[her]

xx aku pun kat skool

2004-07-13T08:57:00.002+08:00

hmm fell so bored
masuk skool kul 8
aku sampai 8.50
so darn bored
seems tat things getting ok wif ma life
haiz...
nantuk sekali
k ah kalau ader time
nanti aku update lagik
for now good bye

[*him*]

xx fuck-ness.

2004-07-13T08:57:00.001+08:00

SHIT.

first thing i was late for assembly.

the worst part was i got caught for dyed hair.

fuckers.

rambot org lain lagy obvious tk tangkap. nabeyyy!!!

i am so pissed right now.

now i have to dye back my hair black.

if only my hair was short in times like this.

and you know what?

a bloody butch caught me.

initially i didn't get caught but that bloody butch swit at me and said, "it's obvious" with a fucking smile.

i don't have anything against butches but this butch has gone over the line.

i got off scott free but because of HER/HIM, i have to go through the trouble of dying my uber long hair.

shits!

argh.

tak suka tak suke skali~~~

ah damnations.

now they want the teachers to check every student's bag for cigarettes and lighters.

WTF.

bullshit i tell you. BULLSHIT.

[her]

xx boredom i tell ya.

2004-07-12T09:12:00.000+08:00

im so bored.

i'm having ift class.

the lecturer's pissed at my class coz we aren't paying attention.

the bell just rang.

blog later. bye.

[her]

xx friends or fiends?

2004-07-11T14:05:00.000+08:00

friends.

hypocrites.

backstabbers.

liars.

that's what some friends are made of.

this is the kind of friends you have.

believe it.

you should never have to be contaminated with their poisonous minds and never to be influenced by their evil doings.

their words are like thorns in roses.

you wouldn't wanna get pricked by the thorns.

so be careful.

expressing anger through actions.

words for revenge.

when you fall, they won't help you up.

they'll just stand there with pointing fingers, laughing sinisterly at you.

when you rise back again, tongues start wagging.

untruthful words spread around.

a plague of lies and deceit erupts.

the truth exploited.

jealousy invades, minds corrupted.

aggravation of matters, bonds broken.

but such atrocity will fail to penetrate a strong mind.

a mind of one's own, without having to kneel on both knees, pleasing and being pleased.

friends.

it's not the length of time you know them nor the minutes and seconds you spend with them.

all that matters is how well you trust them.

no matter what, we still need friends in our lives.

unfortunately, this atrocity is part of us.

you.

me.

he.

she.

them.

something undeniable.

somewhat an unspoken truth.

point a finger at someone you accuse of being a hypocrite but don't forget to point it back in the mirror.

nobody's perfect and so are we.

and so are YOU.

well, this is something to ponder about.

PS forgive us if this entry's full of grammatical/spelling/vocabulary errors etc.

[him & her]

xx i am so pissed.

2004-07-10T12:39:00.000+08:00

argh.

why do parents like to nag?

why do parents like to bring up past events?

why can't they keep their bloody mouth shut?

why do they like to purposely make me bloody pissed off and then accuse me of being rude whereas they were the one who was testing my short-live patience?

why oh why do they like to pick on me?

why do they like to accuse me of using the money they gave for school purposes for my own use?

why would i lie to them?

why can't they just bloody trust me?

i haven't done anything wrong and yet you treat me like this.

how unfair.

i don't try to pick a fight with them but they're just doing that.

what in the world??!!

i'm bloody confused.

i don't understand why is this happening to me.

what wrong have i committed to deserve such treatment?

why can't they just understand me?

everything i do seems to be wrong in their eyes.

everything's my fault.

they treat me like i'm the black sheep of the family.

double argh.

i don't wanna face up to such reality.

it hurts.

i wanna run away.

[her]

2004-07-10T12:05:00.000+08:00

jamming semalam
as usual aku tak hafal tabs
then hancai aku main
shahrul ader semalam
hmm dier ok jer..
hakz
bagus lah
then lepas jamming gie esplanade
wanna noe wat
wani ader
(korang tak kenal wani??)
si mater lolok tu
kuakuakua
and yeah lolok ader
including mus siddiq ju
and ma darling lisa n me lah
kiter makan cavana
siddiq makan sekali duer set
dah kenyang mulut banyak
hakz
then kiter gi esplanade
beli air sprite botol besar yng tak sejuk
and aku beli maltesers...[sedapnyer]
then kiter main cop chillie cop[ gini eh spelling dier???]
hakz...
bual konek..
ok lah overall its fun
hakz.. skarang nak kluar dah ader tige couple
biler nak ramai2 dah
mesti happening
haiz aku merapek bnyk gak siak nie
btw to all of u especially those who
irritated by ma perangai
juz wanna tell u tat i am hansem kuakuakua

i love u nalisa

[him]

xx girl watching.

2004-07-08T10:58:00.000+08:00

good morning people.

i'm in school right now.

i haven't got time at home to update my blog so the school's logistic systems training lab will have to do.

school's kinda boring but the people are bloody friendly.

huhuhuhu.

i loike~

oh yah me and a guyfriend of mine had a great time during break girl-watching.

bleh thn sak pompan2 kat clementi. terpikat jap~

i noticed the seniors wore really really really short skirts.

i saw this girl's butt sia.

fuh. power.

ite clementi doesn't have that much guys so i have to resort to girls.

jgn aku jadi lesbo sua.

well it's drizzling here.

ah the weather seems so nice.

i wish bee was by my side.

speaking of bee, we had a conflict yesterday.

haish.

well it's not for you guys to know.

anyways a special thank you to boy and mus.

thanks for the talking yesterday.

i really appreciate it.

*yawns*

i haven't been sleeping much ever since i started school.

gosh. the late nights and early morning wake up.

it's taking a huge toll on me.

i've got eye bags.

my body feels bloody weak.

and i'm super hungry.

when's the next break??!!

i'm finishing at school at 3pm.

i do hope i can meet bee and talk things out with him.

i miss him so much.

and it hurts so much.

[her]

xx school blues.

2004-07-07T10:10:00.000+08:00

i'm currently at school.

yeah clementi to be precise.

class has officially started.

i conclude that class is bloody boring.

wish i can get out from this place and go back home to sleep.

the guys in my class are ok.

kecoh ah to be exacr.

i saw some familiar faces.

well best not mention them here.

i guess they wouldn't like it if i publicly annouce their names.

and oh yah here's a reply to fiza.

don't assume something when you don't even know anything. skali aku cepuk muke ko aru tau.

klah bye.

[her]

xx flustered plus frustrated.

2004-07-05T20:37:00.000+08:00

i lost the bloody letter which contained the bloody password.

now i have to go back to that minah-infested dump again.

kalo dkt tkpe, nie jauh sak.

grr. it's all his fault.

so fuck you, dad.

and yeah, i miss you, love.

happy skating.

[her]

xx monday blues.

2004-07-05T17:50:00.000+08:00

i feel so lethargic.

anyways i've asked for a transfer from ite clementi to ite tampines.

the reason?

the fucking place's infested with so many bloody minahs.

urgh.

so i'm really hoping the transfer will get through successfully.

*crosses fingers*

oh i didn't go for orientation and i won't go for tomorrow's either.

fuck school.

heh. gara2 kene psycho dgn bee. huhuuhhu.

ok my parents are nagging yet again.

i just hate it when they nag.

same goes with bee.

nag nag nag nag.

sometimes i wish i had earplugs.

and oh, the new range of ite uniforms is so obit.

blue, grey, maroon blah blah blah.

a lame attempt to make uniforms look 'nicer'.

last but not least.

hairil looks so bloody cute in his uniform.

i just wanna eat him up. heh.

[her]

lovelove

2004-07-05T01:11:00.000+08:00

is it a bad dae for us?
well, its not
ma assumtion is wrong
everiting went preety well todae
kiter gie east coast
naik basikal
macam biaser
lisa tumpang hairil kayuh
sumtime i wish i hav becak kuakuakua
i cycle all da way to lighthouse
and we chill
juz da both of us
lots of kissing
im already missing her
then we cycle back to Yapedas "yassallam"
and i ate nasi aya,
she eat mee teow goreng
the we head home

i hav a prob this past few days
my cigarette semms to go missing at the end of da dae
dah tiger kali siak
1st-3 btng dlm
2nd-5 btng
3rd-BANYAK BATANG SEKALI
bingit siol
nasib batang aku melekat kalu tak ilang jugak siak
hey lisa.....
i love u so so so much
hapie 3 month 1 dae
ure da best for me
and i noe tat im not da worst?

[*him*]

i love u nalisa

2004-07-04T15:06:00.000+08:00

its a boring gig yest at pasir ris east cc
maybe coz im not in to punk rawk tat much
but one-eighty makes us alive
i mosh-hit, wacked, bashed, crack
realise got few bruises
surpisingly thers wani yest
suare dier astaga
sengau*
kuakuakua
ju muker lain giler
slalu kalau lepak adventure park
dier lah yng termenung fikir kan wani
abih semalam
amboi
happi skali
felt happie for him too
haiz i felt so moody todae and yest nite
i juz dunno y
maybe im having my period
khakhakha
i seems to find fault
everytime
im sorie
and i love u so so so much
nurul nalisa

04/07/04
3 months
mohamad hairil and nurul nalisa

[*him*]

xx time flies when everything's bliss.

2004-07-04T14:20:00.000+08:00

happy three months of togetherness, love.

it doesn't feel like 3 months.

time flies when everything's bliss, don't you think?

i've written something special for you but since i haven't edited it yet, i'll post it some time soon.

oh yah. yesterday's gig.

well. no comments.

wani tagged along.

i do realise ju's really happy being with her.

aww. they look oh-so-sweet together~ *smiles*

well i hope i'll be seeing more of her in the future.

heh. wink wink.

wani, if you're reading this, take note k. i want to see more of you. heh.

anywhos i sense it's gonna rain soon judging by the dark clouds.

but you never know.

the weather's unpredictable.

somehow i have a feeling the weather coincides with my current mood.

not to mention, bee's.

gee. what a day.

heart you, love.

[her]

2004-07-03T05:31:00.000+08:00

tadik aku jamming
aku lisa dan diorng
lepas tu lepak mama-mia
then aku antar lisa balik
aku naik 69 to bedok
ternampak due berok masih kat kedai kopi kuakuakua
(jgn marah yah)
aku pun join lah berok berok berbual sampai kul 4 pagi
skarang aku nak kejut mak aku bgn
nak pegi kedai kejer
diriku hanya untuk mu nurul nalisa

[*him yng tulis*]

xx no cellphone. no everything.

2004-07-02T15:35:00.000+08:00

my hp line got cut.

i'll be getting my new specs on tuesday which is kinda late.

fucking school starts this monday.

i need 260 freaking bucks for my hp bills.

i'm in need of a new school shoe.

i have to buy a new prepaid coz my old one's expired.

bloody shits.

i am so fucked up right now.

life can't get more complicated than this.

and guess what?

bee won't let me buy that second hand ibanez.

double bloody shits.

[her]

xx hairil the designer guy.

2004-07-02T01:28:00.000+08:00

bee splashed my black cutex on my foot.

don't ask me why i brought along my black cutex out today.

he aaccidentally splashed the cutex all over my jeans. (something like that uh.)

i was pissed off initially but then bee had a great idea.

he splashed more cutex all over my jeans.

the final result was simply WOW!

what can i say.

my bloody boyfriend is so bloody talented and bloody creative. heh.

anywhos you guys can catch a glimpse of my new ultra cool-looking jeans at this saturday's gig.

credit goes to bee.

thank you for being the crazy ass you are.

till then.

[her]

xx this is so not 'our song'.

2004-07-01T01:56:00.000+08:00

we drive tonight,
and you are by my side.
we're talking about our lives,
like we've known each other forever.
the time flies by,
with the sound of your voice.
its close to paradise,
with the end surely near.
if i could only stop the car
and hold onto you,
and never let go...
i'll never let go.
as we round the corner
to your house
you turned to me and said,
"i'll be going through withdrawl of you for this one night we have spent."
and, i want to speak these words
but i guess i'll just bite my tongue,
and accept "someday, somehow"
as the words that we'll hang from.

and i, i don't want to speak these words.
cause i, i don't want to make things anyworse.

why does tonight, have to end?
why don't we hit restart,
and pause it at our favorite parts.
we'll skip the goodbyes.
if i had it my way,
i'd turn the car around and runaway,
just you and i.

and i, i don't want to speak these words.
cause i, i don't want to make things anyworse.

[her]

xx public apology.

2004-07-01T01:28:00.000+08:00

i didn't mean what i said.

the words just came out from my mouth out of annoyance.

i didn't realise you took it heart.

i didn't mean to degrade you.

you're the best boyfriend i've ever had.

i never wanna lose you.

i know.

i've already apologised to you just now but i still can't help having this guilty conscience.

please don't leave me.

please don't.

heart you lots lots, love.

and i don't wanna speak these words

cause i don't wanna make things any worse.

[her]

xx peektures.

2004-06-29T16:13:00.000+08:00

his sideview. huhuhu. pimples.

her sideview. note the paleness of my face. credit goes to excessive use of foundation. huhuhu.

[her]

xx crabmeat ain't really crabmeat.

2004-06-29T16:07:00.000+08:00

i made a new discovery this morning.

i found out that crabstick isn't really made of crabmeat.

what a shocker!

for all this years i've been consuming crabsticks, i assumed crabsticks were really made of genuine crabmeat!

i am so bloody overwhelmed by this shocking truth.

oh gosh. such atrocity!

imagine.

IMITITATION CRABMEAT!!

WTF.

and i thought i was eating real crabs.

this is a bloody big deal k.

ah i can't believe this.

i've been living in a closet for like all my life!!

kaninacibaisialanpukimakkepalebutolanchauvaginapenisfuckfuckfuck.

ok bye.

[her]

2004-06-29T08:40:00.000+08:00

hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa hairil love lisa

i juz hav no idea
i dunno wat to say
and i dun wanna speak this words
coz i dun wanna make things aniworse

[*crazy him*]

xx i'm a skank addict.

2004-06-28T12:48:00.000+08:00

woohoo.

we had a sweatingskankinggrindingmoshing good time.

heh.

my body aches a bit though.

been having stomach cramps on top of that.

anywhos dyna turmoil performed.

quite a pleasant surprise i must say.

they stuck out like a rose among thorns.

not that the other bands were that bad. they're the bloodiest band i've ever known. for now. heh.

anyways i think i'm addicted to skanking again.

throughout the journey back home, i was still skanking.

haha. i think the guys think i'm a weirdo or something.

more like possessed. *skanks like mad*

k i wanna take this opportunity to apologise to anyone i've pushed or stepped on the foot.

i'm so sorry. so so sorry.

i know a simple sorry won't take back the pain but i'm filled with remorse.

really i am. i'm really sincere.

if you people think i'm really apologising, then fuck off.

huuuhuuhhhuuuhhhuuhhhuu!!

kalo tanak kene tolak ke hape, jgn diri dlm crowd. bodoh nk mampos. step nk kasi muke tak suke lak.

double blueks!!!!

[her]

xx sheesh-ness.

2004-06-27T00:03:00.000+08:00

that's it.

no more stud belts OR emily t-shirts for me.

i dowana look like you fuccen poseurs.

fuck you and your bloody stud belts.

i can't believe mats and even minahs wear stud belts!

wtf.

it's becoming so...common.

i've got only one word for this fuccen matter.

SHEESH!!!!

i should have listened to bee.

he was right all along.

from now on, i'll listen to every word he says.

over and out.

[her]

xx i want i want.

2004-06-26T12:50:00.000+08:00

the trip to town with bee and nazir was fine.

by the end of the day, i've come up with list of stuff that i need and want so SO badly.

here goes:

i want the used's self-titled cd.

i want the get up kids's guilt show cd.

i want the atticus compilation cd.

i want matchbook romance's your stories, my alibis cd.

i want the alternative compilation cd.

i want that bronze star earrings.

i want that black leather chucks.

i want that topshop bikini.

i want those topshop thongs.

i want the whole collection of archie comics.

i want that cool pair of pink headphones.

i want that oh-so-expensive leather bracelet.

i want that retro gola shoe.

i want more band stickers like the my chemical romance sticker bee got for me.

i want to buy all the band tshirts in image 2001.

i want that macbeth elliot shoe.

i want that red vans shoe.

i want that black leather belt.

i want that star buckle.

i want 260 bucks to pay for my outstanding hp bills.

i want world peace.

i want eternal bliss for us.

i want my dad not to kill me coz he's so pissed off with my hp bill.

i want everybody around me to be happy.

ok basically that's all. for now. heh.

and oh yah. gig's on tomorrow.

i can't wait!

me and bee will be wearing the same colour tshirt.

so to those going, catch us if you can~~

haha.

i am so lame.

[her]

2004-06-24T14:24:00.000+08:00

I'm not a perfect person
As many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why i need you to hear

I've found a resaon for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You [x4]

I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you

i love u nurul nalisa
[*him*]